Aubrey and Kristin.

BOOM!

This summer has allowed for a well-accepted allottance of free time.  All time is free time, really...do we not have free will to choose how the time is spent?  So when I say free time, I mean time that has not been already committed by a previous free choice.  Now I must decide in the moment how this time ought to be spent.....

Thus far today my time has been used to purchase a few extra hours of sleep this morning, a sandwich, and a moment of reading over old xanga entries.  I am glad that God gave us the ability to store ideas in places of a perceived increased lasting power than our memory.  Even a light wimpling read of my past writings gives evidence to personal changes in the state of my character.  \
    To lay a description over the expanse of writings from high school, the most accurate word of appraisal is "Ego."  My audience was other people, true enough, but my motive in writing was for self-praise.  Albeit there were some moments of writing in which I raised my eyes from above my own two feet, much time was spent in trying to appear more desirable.  I so strongly wanted other people to think of me as an attractive individual!  My will had become a slave to ego.
    The Merciful One has drawn my eyes up from my feet.  He tells me to look at the things around through His eyes.  When He lends me His eyes, I see that what He sees is wonderful, and through His eyes I do not see myself.  He can see me, so I do not need to focus on myself... now I am free to see and occupy my mind with thoughts of other people and of Him. His vision is brilliant.


It would be neat to make a movie during this summer.  One that is enjoyable to watch.  But embedded within the movie is a question and a confrontation... a thought to shake people out of apathy.  Apathy roils about Rice with a oily pall, and it is difficult to wash off.  It takes an unexpected blast from a fire hose.  There are some who are not coated in the oleagenous grime of carelessness, but I feel that a spread of these have not questioned why they care as they do.  Perhaps they have questioned past the outer layer at some point.  They may have asked themselves why.  But if each question "why" were as a ring on a tree, how many have arrived at the heartwood?  How many have asked "why?" until it can be asked no more...until a final answer satisfies all further questions?

Why are you reading this?

Why is that?

That picture to the left is glorious.  Black and white gives any image an appearance of greater significance.

  I shall not address the events of this past while in any form of pleasant prose.  A catalog of occurences, instead, will be employed.  I have long shied away from writing these things out of a distaste for the amount of exertion writing requires of me.  So here we begin

-Upon returning from Rice, Amy presented me with a "Hopscotch and Coughdrops" cake, in the shape of a hopscotch deal, with coughdrops in their wrappers strewn about the edges.  I felt so loved!! This sentiment was amplified when I realized that she had made it from a mix (not gluten-free; her body is intolerant to gluten), and hence had done it solely out of selfless love for me!  It was very humbling, in a way, to receive something born of such pure intention.  Gift giving, I have come to realize, is my 'love language.'  My heart-cockles get quite toasty when time by someone to give something to me...and it is really neat to go back and look at that gift later and remember that person's gesture...unless it's a cake, which is just delicious and screams to be consumed.

-I finally got a job!  After a rather rigorous week of going from store to store in search of people that were willing to hire for the summer (most wanted a longer commitment) I finally got offers at Borders and DSW shoes.  I am going with Borders, and begin training this Wednesday.  God is so faithful!  There has been a bizzare amount of resistance in terms of me finding a job this summer (an end that would prove most useful in earning money for the Philippines trip), and I have been trying since late March to secure a position at different places.  More than anything it has instilled within me a deeper sense of trust, as well as stronger obedience to Him who knows all things.  He has exceeded my expectations! Not only am I to work at Borders, but on Mondays and some Tuesdays I am able to follow a doctor around at the Med Center.  Experience and immersion without the required commitment.

-We had Byron's bachelor party at La Grange.  My dad, brother, and I spent the night and following afternoon.  I took some cool pictures... 
A good time was had by all.

-Outside on the porch stands a 3' x 2' x 1' block of pine that once belonged to a tree in our backyard.  At present it is being transformed into a whale (my mom wants to hang it on the wall at the Cape).  I have decided that some of my greatest joys come from creating things.  next on the docket is a pvc pipe chair, and then a bridge across the drainage ditch to the Briggs residence.  We shall see how many of these projects come into fruition. 

-Another of my joys comes from being with people...
and in seeing God move...that is more of a feeling of awe and amazement at how He uses our obedience (and sometimes lack thereof)  to effect His designs.  I think I realize what to "fear" God is like.  It is not terror, not in the least...but rather a sensation of wonder at His nature, wrought of our own incapacity and incomparability.

-Byron is to be married this weekend. My comprehension of how much I value him grows as that day draws closer.  I am to be the best man...which means I am supposed to do a speech.  get excited.

...I miss the close interactions warranted at Rice.  While the respite of the home is welcome, I long to return.  However, there is much to be done with the family...for friends fade, but family endures beyond distance. 


joy incessant